iam.ollief1.com

…but still wearing a shirt every day because I’m classy like that.

OWS: Ollie Worry Scale – How worried I am. Usually relates to my parents.
BAche: Back Ache Scale – Since working from home, my lower back has suffered. The entries below detail my efforts to resolve this.

15/04: Missed my afternoon walk down to the water, so my back is aching a bit. But now it is jazz time. Headphones are on, eyes are [almost] closed, the world does not exist for a little while.
OWS: 3 • BAche: 7

14/04: Sussed out the online food delivery booking thing. As in, the new way the shops are doing it. Got it all sorted last night. Got myself a delivery, no problem. Also got an actual delivery for my folks as well, as opposed to their recent click-and-collect (or Ollie-delivery). Have to wait 3 weeks, but hey, I have something, they have something, and it is sorted. In perpetuity, I hope.
OWS: 3 • BAche: 5

13/04: Uh, Monday morning. At my desk at 9am, chipping away at the audit I’m doing for my boss. At 1pm I shuffled on my chair, stretched my arms and as I logged off for lunch, I did say to myself that the program I am using appears to be running an awfully lot faster today. Anyways, making lunch, diddling about, it dawned on me… I don’t work bank holidays any more. This is my first since changing jobs/careers. And also for that, I worked all day on Friday! How the hell do I explain how I’m taking back a day (and a half) without admitting my gross error? Hmmm, this will need some thought. In the mean time though, it’s the weekend, fuck off.
OWS: 3 • BAche: 8

12/04: It is weird seeing the whole world not celebrate Easter. I’m not Catholic, nor of any religious devotion, but I know this time is important to them. To see the church of the Holy Sepulchre basically empty, St Peter’s, all the usual places of worship and gathering, empty… very strange.
OWS: 6 • BAche: 5

11/04: It’s the weekend, it’s Easter, seriously, fuck right off. I’m avoiding the news, nay, the world for a couple days. I refer you to my previous statement.
OWS: 4 • BAche: 7

10/04: I commuted my few paces to work this morning. Stayed there pretty much until 5pm, give-or-take. Fairly productive. In a couple days, I find out why.
OWS: 4 • BAche: 7

09/04: It’s weird doing shopping for my parents. They usually give me a food hamper at Christmas (basically, a huge cardboard box filled with all the things I like), but at the moment it feels the reverse, I’m doing that for them. Asking Mum what she wanted last night, she got very precise… “Tesco-own Choco Hoops cereal, 350g. Uncle Ben’s chilli stir-in sauce, 450g, the hot one please.” What did Dad say, something bloody random, bloody precise… bloody parents. J-cloths, he got arsey with me over J-cloths. Aaaanyway, food for them all sorted for a few weeks, now I need to organise myself.
OWS: 4 • BAche: 6

08/04: Have gaffer-taped a pillow in just the right position on my chair. Seems to be helping my back for now. Plus I was very productive today which made up for yesterday’s debacle.
OWS: 5 • BAche: 7

07/04: Enduring a seriously unproductive day with work. But looking forward to viewing the Supermoon tonight.
OWS: 8 • BAche: 9

06/04: Work is pissing me off because the remote connection to the program keeps dropping. Not a particularly productive day. Bloomin’ ‘eck, the PM is in ICU, that ain’t good. Learned about Andy Irons and bipolar disorder, found it very interesting. But cried a lot because it was told mostly via his younger brother, which is a bit close-to-home. Current levels OWS:6 and BAche:7.

05/04: Watched some TV (currently up to season five of House, for probably the fifth time). Popped out for essentials. Again, beautiful weather. Wrote a little about surfing. Realise I write (descriptively) about surfing approximately once/year.

04/04: Oh, what do you know, it’s the weekend again. Fuck off.

03/04: Enjoying my new project a little because I’m learning some medical stuff, but my back is beginning to annoy me again, current levels OWS:6 and BAche7.

02/04: Back feels a little better, for all of five minutes. Have created a new scale for back-ache called the BAche Scale (0-10). Current level: BAche6. Also have a new project for work. Feeling happier for a variety of reasons. Seize on the Clap-For-Carers moment to drop bottles into bottle bank, thus utilising the background noise to avoid embarressment. I don’t need to be told which specific day or time to be thankful, I’m thankful every day. Current OWS level: 5.

01/04: Drive to Mum and Dad’s. Wear gloves. Maintain distance. Dump food at back door and stand back. Tell Dad to wash his hands like, maybe, a million times. Good to see Mum, at a distance, through a window. Had a nice, albeit short conversation. More traffic on the roads than I was expecting. Weird. Really good to drive in the sunshine with the window down. Like, really really good. Current OWS level: 4.

31/03: Food arrives. It feels like Christmas because I would never have this much produce in my apartment at any one time. Also, feels like Christmas because I’m drinking Vermouth. A little treat to myself. Currently jamming stuff into the freezer. I have duct tape if necessary. Current OWS level: 8.

30/03: A good day for work, but I had to tell my boss I was running out of things to do. He seemed okay with it, which was weird. Spend the evening looking at Venus through my telescope. Current OWS level: 6.

29/03: It’s still the weekend, the world can still fuck off. Spend the evening on the phone to Mum organising my sacrificed Tesco delivery (booked prior to the start of the end-of-the-world) for them. Current OWS level: 6.

28/03: It’s the weekend, the world can fuck off. Had a nice afternoon, bought some expensive wine. And loo roll. In the same place. Which was a tapas bar. Weird. Current OWS level: 7.

27/03: Lower back beginning to ache from my dining table chair being sat in for 8 hours/day. Set out a new regime to try and quell the aches. Also added additional support to the chair. It’s Friday, finally. Bring on the vodka. Current OWS level: 9.

26/03: Managed a click-and-collect for my parents from their local Tesco, but it is for 3-weeks from now. Better than nothing. Speak to Mum in the evening. They are upbeat. I still worry relentlessly about them. Current OWS level: 10.

25/03: Plan for parents food delivery is annoying me. Have signed up to all, and all are fully booked entirely. Beginning to worry quite a bit. Staying awake until gone-midnight to try and book a slot is starting to take its toll on me. Busy organising online payments for their bills etc. Suddenly realise that without the magic of the Internet, I’d be fucked. And I grew up without it (mostly). Have developed an ‘Ollie Worry Scale’ (0-10). Current level: OWS 11.

24/03: Pop out for essentials in the evening having realised I planned home-office more than home-fridge.

23/03: Still reeling from no Formula One. But was at my desk at 9am. Working, working, working…

22/03: First weekend of beautiful weather this year and I’m stuck inside. At least I have Formula One to watc… oh fuck right off. F1 is cancelled a few hours prior to lights out. Words cannot describe how I feel. I understand, but the call should have been made days ago, maybe even weeks.

21/03: It’s the weekend, the world can fuck off. Formulate plan for Mum & Dad – they’re not online, they are very old, they have underlying health issues. I will organise Tesco (or whatever I can get) deliveries for them and try not to worry too much. Call home. Everyone is fine. Mostly watch TV and films.

20/03: Office is closed, as I find out upon arriving. We all chat with a boss and are sent home. Arrive home in time for lunch. Perfect timing. Spend afternoon preparing home office. Spend evening getting drunk and having a weird text/phone/text-coversation with my elderly neighbour who lives above me.

Technically, the photo of the gorgeous me is from last year, or maybe the year before. But I chose it because my hair was about the same length then as it was in mid-March this year. And the weather suddenly improved just as everyone was locked inside – it seemed fitting. And I ain’t taking a photo of myself until I can find some clippers to remove the mess that is irritating my head.

BAche is pronounced bark, as in Bach. Just thought I should mention that.