To Fuck Hamsters?

I just got around to watching Fleabag. I shouldn’t have left it so long. I binged on both series over consecutive nights. It was marvellous. The writing is first class.

Fleabag (narrating): I once read a story from the paper to Boo and Hilary about how a little kid repeatedly stuck rubber-ended pencils up the class hamster’s arsehole, because he liked it when their eyes popped out. He was sent to a juvenile bootcamp.

Boo: They sent him away? But he needs help!

Fleabag: Yeah. He pencil-fucked a hamster.

Boo: He’s obviously not happy. Happy people don’t do things like that. And anyway, that’s the very reason they put rubbers on the ends of pencils.

Fleabag: To fuck hamsters?

Boo: No, because people make mistakes.

From Fleabag, written by Phoebe Waller-Bridge.