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Since slipping over backwards and contorting my left wrist in way it really shouldn’t, life around the house has been interesting to say the least. Everyday tasks require precision planning, and even then may still be impossible. Here’s my run down of the most infuriating of things I currently cannot do or have a lot of trouble doing.

1. Put a belt on.
2. Tie shoelaces.
3. Trim my nails on my good hand.
4. Wear my nice and cosy jumpers (sleeves wont go over cast).
5. Wear jeans with button flies (about 99% of my jeans are 501s – blast you Levi-Strauss!).
6. Put toothpaste on the toothbrush without it rolling over and depositing paste in sink.
7. Get the shaving gel from the pressurised container on to my face.
8. Type properly.
9. Play computer games that require both hands.
10. Drive my car.
11. Open my oven door.
12. Open a cork-sealed bottle of wine. (Actually impossible, I tried. But I might try again though – I will not be defeated by a bottle of Chianti!)
13. Open a packet of crisps without using my teeth.
14. Slice an uncut loaf of bread without using my elbow.
15. Spread olive spread on bread without serious planning and commitment.
16. Do the dishes.
17. Read a stiffly-bound book in comfort.
18. Talk on the mobile and make notes simultaneously (my phone doesn’t pin well between ear and shoulder).
19. Wash my left arm from elbow to fingers.
20. Viciously whack the snooze button without carefully orchestrating my body into a comfortable position. (I sleep on the left side and tend not to be too careful in the morning. Although I don’t really hit the snooze button with any aggression, but even answering the phone before it goes to voicemail (while in bed) takes care.)
21. Satisfyingly break a KitKat.
22. Hug anyone.